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No Pets Allowed

May 19th, 2009 · 8 Comments · Random Stuff

A man and a dog were walking along a deserted road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when suddenly he realized that he was dead.

He vaguely remembered dying, and and he knew that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered to himself where the road was leading them.

After walking a bit further, the two of them came to a tall white stone wall on one side of the road. The wall looked like it was made of the finest marble. At the top of a long hill, the wall was broken by a tall arch that seemed to glow in the sunlight.

When the man reached the tall arch, he saw through the arch a magnificent gate that looked like mother-of-pearl. A street led to the gate, and the street looked like it was paved with pure gold. He and the dog walked up the street of gold toward the gate. As he got closer, he saw a bearded man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, “Pardon me good sir, can you tell me where we are?”

“This is Heaven,” the gatekeeper answered.

“Oh! Would you happen to have some water, good sir?” the man asked.

“But of course. Come right in. I’ll have some ice water brought right up.”

The gatekeeper gestured, and the magnificent gate began to swing open.

“Can my friend come in, also?” the man asked, gesturing toward his dog.

“I’m sorry,” the gatekeeper replied, “we don’t accept pets.

The man thought for a moment, and turned back toward the road. He continued walking on down the road with his dog.

After walking much, much further, at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt side road leading to a rusted farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.

He turned and started down the side road. As he approached the open, rusted gate, he saw an old man inside, leaning against a oak tree and reading a book.

“Pardon me, good sir!” he called to the old man. “Might you have any water?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there. Please come in.”

“How about my friend?” asked the man as he gestured to the dog.

“There should be a bowl by the pump.”

They walked through the rusted gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl right beside it.

The man filled the water bowl and took a long drink, then he gave some to the dog.

When they had both drunk their fill, he and the dog walked back to the old man who was standing by the oak tree.

“What do you call this place?” the man asked..

“This is Heaven,” the old man answered.

“Well, that’s confusing,” the man said. “The gatekeeper down the road said that was Heaven, too.”

“Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s Hell,” said the old man.

“Doesn’t it make you mad that they use your name like that?” asked the man.

“No,” replied thel old man. “We’re just happy they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.”


8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Todd Morris // May 19, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    Hi Steve,

    Not that I don’t find your trade show posts informative …

    But I gotta say, I always look forward to your jokes.

    … even the ones that are more serious than funny.

    Great message there at the end.


  • 2 Will // May 20, 2009 at 12:04 am

    I was expecting a laugh, but it was a great parable instead. Thanks! Cute puppy too.

  • 3 The Trade Show Guru // May 20, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    @Todd, Thanks. I’m glad you like my “jokes”…
    @Will, Thanks too. I think it is a good lesson. 🙂 ~ Steve

  • 4 Todd Morris // May 22, 2009 at 12:37 am

    Hi Steve,

    Yes, I thought about that after I had hit the submit button … this was more of a story than a “joke”.

    A joke was what I was expecting at I started reading the post, so I guess that idea was still stuck in my head as I wrote the comment.

    In any case, I definitely enjoyed the story … thanks for sharing.


  • 5 JD at I Do Things // May 26, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    Aw. I like that.

    No way does Heaven not allow pets. If that’s the case, I’ll keep walking, too.

  • 6 The Trade Show Guru // May 28, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    @Todd, No problem. I’ll gladly accept any compliment I can get! 🙂
    @JD, I agree, and I’d keep walking too! 🙂 ~ Steve

  • 7 Tim // May 28, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    Good one, Steve!

  • 8 The Trade Show Guru // May 29, 2009 at 11:37 am

    @Tim, Thanks! ~ Steve

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